health, loss of a child, news, personal, preemie

Broken Heart

I have had my heart broken before, but not with the same intensity in which it broke yesterday.

I had lost a romantic relationship. It hurt a lot. I was twenty two and thought that it was the worst thing ever. I drank wine for a week, and then I was back on track because I refused to ruin my life for someone who never deserved even a glance from me. Looking back, I believed it was more of the pain of humiliation that made it hurt. I am, after all, quiet but proud.

I had lost grandparents, both pairs of them. It was sad and yet peaceful. I never met my mother’s parents. My dad’s parents died in their nineties. They lived full lives.

Yesterday, however, was different. My little brother – who although only three years younger was like a first child to me – lost his little angel. 26 weeker Jordana Belle fought hard. She was in the NICU for more than 60 days. All she knew was the plastic case of an incubator and the pain of being prodded everyday. She had a little taste of her mommy’s breast milk. Her tongue usually slid out as if looking for more, but her feedings were interrupted by caution. After every feeding, her tummy bulged. Her intestines could not take too much feeding yet. Her liver was getting bigger. And everything was falling apart and a part of us knew it even weeks before, but we continued smiling and praying and hoping.

To make things worse, half of the family is in the Philippines: my brother, his wife, and our mom. My dad, my husband, my son, and I are here in Dominica, tens of thousands of miles away. Each one of us grieves. Even my son had to wipe tears furiously at mass, attempting a big boy stance. We grieve silently. Only the closest people know. I am sharing this because those who cared enough to read my past blogs – precious few – deserve to know what happened next.

Please include us in your prayers.

news, personal

Somber, Quiet… No News Yet of Jesse Robredo and Two Pilots

The search and rescue team has not yet found Secretary Jesse Robredo, and the two pilots of the Seneca plane that crashed yesterday at about 4:30 Philippine time. Despite some nasty tweets, false reports and other setbacks, the people of Naga City are still holding out hope for a miracle.

Tomorrow, search and rescue operations will resume while I try to come up with plausible ways in which the good secretary could have survived the crash. Hopefully, he was able to swim to shore, or  as previous unconfirmed reports had relayed: was rescued by fishermen, and might just be recovering as of the moment. It is rare to have such a good man in politics. So, we are still praying for his safe return.

news, personal, rant

Today Didn’t Turn Out as Happy-Sunny as I’d Hoped

Aside from my colds, nothing is really wrong with my day. My meds have been making me sleepy that I spent most of Saturday afternoon taking a nap on the couch. When I woke up, my family had sandwiches for snacks. I also had the added good news of being accepted as regular home-based blogger/web content writer for an up-and-coming website hosting company.

Then, my son Joreb, the nanny and I went down to the 7th floor playground (we live in a condo building) so that my toddler could catch some rays and play with other children. Sunlit afternoons had been rare here in Metro Manila after the destructive monsoon rains had flooded most of the metropolis just about a week back.

Then, came the news.

The Philippines’ DILG Secretary Jesse Robredo is missing. The Cessna Seneca plane that was carrying the well-loved statesman has reportedly crashed in Masbate en route to Naga City. As of the moment, he is still missing, but prayers are pouring in from all over the country, especially from the people of Naga City.

I am from Naga City. Secretary Jess served as the city’s mayor for three terms (six?), I think, and my husband and I have the honor of having him as godfather on our wedding.

I am hoping for more prayers. Most of all, I am hoping for a happy ending.

Most of the country is still waiting for more word.