personal, rant

Anniversary Day

When you are married and have a child, chances are anniversaries take on a different tone. Well, I am not speaking for everyone. There are still those who go out for fancy dinners while fully-dressed up. Wine and red roses are part of the backdrop.

I was never a fancy girl, though. I said no to a debutante’s ball, for example. I don’t see the point of celebrating my 18th birthday with a whole crowd while my mom gets tired because of the preparations and hobnobbing with visitors. Being 18 supposedly signals the beginning of maturity. However, I’ve seen many pretty girls celebrate their debutante’s balls in gowns, with several tiers of cake in front of them – and all I see is just that: girls. There are dances, too. In the end, though, the maturity is not really there yet. Tantrums, crushes, and the fact that you demanded to have a fancy ball even if you knew your parents would have a hard time all show that the supposed “coming of age” is not really there yet. I am not saying I am more mature than most girls but I felt like it was practical not to go through the party. Besides, I’d rather read a book in my room or watch a movie on my special day. So, who am I trying to please during what is supposed to be my day if I had the party? I did get a gold necklace with a heart pendant from my parents on my 18th birthday. It was snatched by a thief but two good guy friends ran after him. Scared, the thief dropped the necklace. I still have the special souvenir today.

Our wedding day (4.21.2007) looked fancy and expensive on the surface. It is expensive – most wedding celebrations are  – but not really as expensive as people thought it to be. I planned almost the whole wedding: designed the gowns, cake, invitations, and missal. My husband was in charge of planning the reception, flowers, and food. There was no party planner running around to get on my nerves. Thank goodness. There were no prenuptial photos because I did not like role-playing and fantasy.

During this day and age, a lot of kids feel a sense of entitlement. Mom and dad have to buy the car, deposit money for the house, and shelter kids in their twenties and thirties. I am saddened by the fact that I am part of this entitled crowd to some degree because as a married woman, I still live in a condo my parents are renting.

In everything else, though, I try to be simple. Anniversaries with my husband mean going out in jeans and a shirt, eating at a restaurant, and watching a movie. This year, it may mean a movie date with our son and the nanny. It’s very real and simple – the way I like it. After all, an uneventful life is better than one full of extreme passion and extreme tribulation. But, that’s just me. I would not call my life boring, either. It has its ups and downs. It has its tears and laughter.  The sixth wedding anniversary fits the description of my life and marriage: Iron and Candy.


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